As I plan my wedding, I have been reading many articles on what to do and what not to do. Obviously to each their own, but this one everyone should probably follow.
What NOT to do as a wedding guest. HAHA!!
Well it wouldn't be so funny if any of my guest did the following.
Every wedding has some guests who don't know how to behave. For those of you who need a primer on this, these 10 behaviors are absolutely, positively, never acceptable:
1. Arriving obviously drunk to the ceremony is the wrong way to start out at a wedding. These are usually the same people who want to know why the bar isn't open before the service.
(Don't be sloppy it's someones special day, don't be that person)
2. Wearing white, or ivory, or cream to a wedding is a no-no at all times unless it happens to be a "white wedding" and all guests have been asked to wear white attire. Otherwise, no guest should wear a predominantly white dress.
(I feel like people don't know this one which is hard for me to believe but the bride wears white! No one else can!... Other colors to stay away from are HOT pink, Bright red, and black depending on your relationship to the bride, example: mother of the bride or mother of the groom. Any color that POPs and brings a lot of attention to yourself is probably a good idea to stay away from)
3. Asking for a second helping at a seated/plated dinner isn't appropriate. The guests have been paid for by the head, and the caterers are not required to provide second servings if it's not a buffet.
(Food at a wedding can get very expensive and everything is paid for in advance, including a slice of cake for each guest. Don't ask for seconds haha)
4. Ordering rounds of shots to the table during a formal wedding dinner is no-no. Treating a wedding reception like a fraternity bash is totally inappropriate. Save the shots for the bar.
(I'm solving this problem with no shots allowed at the wedding. I want everyone to have a great time! But not because they've had Shots, Shots, Shots!)
5. Changing into casual clothing after the wedding ceremony is against all rules of etiquette unless the bride and groom have invited their guests to do so (which never ever happens).
( I've actually never heard of this rule because I didn't know people did this. I think it's appropriate for children to change after the ceremony if they need to, but that's only if you're even having children at the wedding. I feel like I don't get dressed up that often.. I wouldn't want to change out of my dress until the night was over!)
6. Drinking too much at the reception is in poor form. Nobody wants to see a passed-out wedding guest with their head down on a dinner table in the background of pictures.
(I get having a good time at a wedding and letting go, but don't be that person who needs someone to help bring them back home)
7. Fighting with the DJ because you don't like the music the wedding couple has chosen is beyond rude. Sometimes the DJ will say he doesn't have the song you're requesting because it's actually on the bride and groom's "Do Not Play" list.
(I created a long list of songs and artist that Anthony and I love. A lot of work goes into picking out music, It's about the couple today no one else! Just dance along with the music even if it's not your favorite)
8. Creating drama with friends or former lovers is a total no-no and detracts from the solemn occasion of the ceremony and happy celebration at the reception. If you know that you can't behave yourself around some of the other guests, decline the invitation.
(If there is going to be someone at the wedding you don't like and you can't control yourself... then not going is probably a good idea. The wedding is about the couple and not your drama. Don't ruin their day because you may not like someone there, would be very selfish.)
9. Treating the bartender, service staff or wedding planning team abusively isn't cool, even if you think it's really funny at the time. Who cares if you don't like the party? It's not about you — it's about the bride and groom.
(You wouldn't be rude to your waiter at dinner, I'd hope not, so don't be rude to the wedding team that the couple has hired.)
10. Pitching a fit when the wedding ends is ridiculous. And approaching the planners, bartender, or DJ with your credit card out, trying to extend the party, is both tasteless and pointless. The party is over.
(Don't be that person. If you wan't to keep partying so badly then go to a bar when the wedding is over.)
I hope his helps you when planning to go to a wedding this year or planning your own. I was a wedding planners assistant for a year and saw how some guest behaved badly, but even some of these were a surprise to me!
Owner of Weddings in Vieques, a destination-wedding planning company off the coast of Puerto Rico, Sandy Malone has helped countless couples plan their big day since 2007.