After returning from Kentucky Bing and I went back to our usual routine, like hanging out with his friends, exploring Nashville and spending time together, but for some reason the usual routine didn’t seem so special anymore. I loved Bing, but I was coming to realize I loved him as my best friend not as a soul mate. He and I always had so much fun together, but I felt as if I was hanging out with an old friend that I’d known for years. (That I didn’t need to kiss.) It was strange to me that I never needed the intimate side of a relationship with him; I didn’t have an urge to run into his arms and kiss him as soon as I saw him. I knew that was what I always wanted. I wanted a man that walked into a room and couldn't help, but grab me and kiss me. Bing and I did not need that. Something was missing in our relationship.
Bing treated me nicer than any man ever had. My sister really liked him for that reason as well, but she later told me that she was on the same page as I was; she knew he wasn’t it for me. I suppose people could see what I saw. He and I were very different and I believe we were only meant to ever be best friends. He was a musician who could go with the flow and stay up until 5 am writing music, while I was writing lists of what I needed to do that day and waking up at 7 am to help my sister with my niece. We lived in different worlds, and weren’t meant to be together forever. I believe Bing came into my life to show me that I could be in a healthy relationship with a man that loved who I was and wanted me to fully be myself.
Breaking up with Bing was very difficult. I didn’t want to hurt him because I did care for him. In my mind he was my best bud. I hated knowing that I was going to upset him and I was also sad I’d never get to see his family again. It’s silly, but a part of me wanted to call and explain things to his Meemee, (she always asked about me when she called him, I knew he’d eventually tell her we broke up).
Just because a relationship doesn’t work out with someone doesn’t mean you have to bash or hate that person. Obviously there was a reason you started to date them and on top of that they liked you, they have to have some sort of good taste to love who you are as well.
I hear Bing fell for a girl shortly after we broke up. I think deep down he knew too that I wasn’t his soul mate. He was able to find the perfect girl for him once we went our separate ways and little did I know within a year I’d find my perfect man too....