After returning from Kentucky Bing and I went back to our usual routine, like hanging out with his friends, exploring Nashville and spending time together, but for some reason the usual routine didn’t seem so special anymore. I loved Bing, but I was coming to realize I loved him as my best friend not as a soul mate. He and I always had so much fun together, but I felt as if I was hanging out with an old friend that I’d known for years. (That I didn’t need to kiss.) It was strange to me that I never needed the intimate side of a relationship with him; I didn’t have an urge to run into his arms and kiss him as soon as I saw him. I knew that was what I always wanted. I wanted a man that walked into a room and couldn't help, but grab me and kiss me. Bing and I did not need that. Something was missing in our relationship.
Bing treated me nicer than any man ever had. My sister really liked him for that reason as well, but she later told me that she was on the same page as I was; she knew he wasn’t it for me. I suppose people could see what I saw. He and I were very different and I believe we were only meant to ever be best friends. He was a musician who could go with the flow and stay up until 5 am writing music, while I was writing lists of what I needed to do that day and waking up at 7 am to help my sister with my niece. We lived in different worlds, and weren’t meant to be together forever. I believe Bing came into my life to show me that I could be in a healthy relationship with a man that loved who I was and wanted me to fully be myself.
Breaking up with Bing was very difficult. I didn’t want to hurt him because I did care for him. In my mind he was my best bud. I hated knowing that I was going to upset him and I was also sad I’d never get to see his family again. It’s silly, but a part of me wanted to call and explain things to his Meemee, (she always asked about me when she called him, I knew he’d eventually tell her we broke up).
Just because a relationship doesn’t work out with someone doesn’t mean you have to bash or hate that person. Obviously there was a reason you started to date them and on top of that they liked you, they have to have some sort of good taste to love who you are as well.
I hear Bing fell for a girl shortly after we broke up. I think deep down he knew too that I wasn’t his soul mate. He was able to find the perfect girl for him once we went our separate ways and little did I know within a year I’d find my perfect man too....
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When we first started dating, Bing told me his sister was engaged. I knew her wedding day was shortly creeping upon us and I secretively hoped he would ask me to go with him. Once again Bing did not disappoint. I was overjoyed when he asked me to be his date and knew it would be a great opportunity to meet his entire family and see his home. That can often tell you a lot about someone.
Our drive to Kentucky was a blast; we played games the entire way and laughed until we cried! The smallest things with Bing were always fun. When we finally arrived at his parent’s house I became nervous to meet them. I wanted them to like me especially since I liked their son.
His mother met us at the front door. She was the sweetest lady! His entire family was great. They were so loving and welcoming. I thought it special to meet the family for the first time a day before their daughters wedding and for them to welcome me with open arms.
We all went to the rehearsal dinner where I met more of the family. I met his Meemee and Meemaw, the sweetest and cutest grandmothers. They epitomized what you’d always want in a grandmother. They hugged me and made me feel so welcomed and loved. I thought if Bing and I were to ever break up, I’d miss these sweethearts. The rehearsal dinner was very lovely and I had a wonderful time meeting everyone. I couldn’t wait until the wedding the next day.
On the day of his sisters wedding everyone was hustling around to make sure the day was perfect. Bing was in the wedding party so I wasn’t with him for the majority of the day. I got to spend my day with his sweet Meemee. She and I set up the lunch for the bridal party. I had so much fun spending time with her and helping put things together. I helped his mom put other last minute details together as well, I really felt like part of the family. This was something I had always hoped for…
The wedding was beautiful. I learned they were both waiting for marriage, which was really wonderful and special! We had an amazing day and I felt blessed to have witnessed such love.
During our trip in Kentucky, Bing asked me to be his girlfriend “officially.” I kind of assumed we already were but I appreciated the formality of it and of course said, “yes.” I began to wonder if this was it, if he was the one, if these feelings were “enough.” I really cared for him, loved laughing with him, loved how he accepted me and made me feel good about myself. I also loved his family. Something was missing, but I couldn’t tell what….As we approached Nashville; I decided to enjoy the present and worry about the rest tomorrow.
To be continued…